Heavy Heart

I don’t know that I’ll get through writing this post without shedding more tears, but I do know that I need to lay down what has been on my heart the past few days.

My guilty pleasure is watching YouTube moms. I have several that I watch religiously. I love their content, I love that it is so relatable and motherhood can sometimes feel so lonely.

On Christmas Day, Brittani Boren Leach went to check on her three month old son during his nap, when she found him unresponsive and not breathing. A terrifying nightmare to any parent, and it was her reality. It still is her reality as today, in just a few short minutes, they’ll say their final goodbyes to their sweet baby boy as he is wheeled off to save the lives of 4 other children by donating his organs. Such a selfless gift.

My heart has been so heavy for this family this past weekend. Their son is only a few days older than our Noa. I can empathize with their situation and it crushes me to the depths of my soul what they must be going through. I’ve prayed, sang praise, and for the first time in my life, even fasted in faith. I’ve broken down and cried. Cried out to God to please save this sweet child, to let this mother keep her baby. I feel her pain so deeply, and yet it isn’t even close to how she is feeling in these moments. I wish anything there was a way that I could help, but nothing will. She only wants her baby. That is the only thing that will help.

I know that God has a plan for this family moving forward. I know that God didn’t do this to them either, even though this poor mother has every right to be angry with Him right now in her grief. It is sometimes hard to wonder why he couldn’t just save him, but He has a plan, we just can’t see it yet. She doesn’t know how she will move on from this, and the truth is, she never will. But with God, and with all of our prayers lifting her and her family up, hopefully they can take those tiny steps forward.

Somewhere, there’s four families rejoicing that their children may be healed. That their new organs may give their child a new life. But they’re also mourning. They know the cost of their gift of life, is another life. They’re forever grateful. They will sing Crew’s praises for the rest of their days. He will live on in these children, his legacy will be that of a hero, never forgotten.

Today, December 30, 2019 at noon central time, Crew will be taken to surgery to donate his organs. Please pray for strength and comfort for this sweet baby’s family in the days and weeks and months and years ahead, because their hearts will never fully heal from this devastation. Pray for guidance for the doctors and staff. Pray for the families of the children who are about to receive this precious gift. Lift them all up in prayer, that they may all feel the Holy Spirit surrounding them today. No parent should ever have to go through this. They need us now more than ever.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Matthew 19:14

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