I had my first day back at work yesterday. I survived, but I really hated coming back. It feels like my time off went by so much faster than with the rest. I think it was a combination of Noa being my last baby, and us being sick nearly the entirety of the twelve weeks I was off, and my health not being in tip-top shape either. We were also very busy. Three funerals during that time, plus just trying to get through the daily minimum of trying to survive. The holidays didn’t help either, even though we missed Thanksgiving because we were once again sick. Sylas’ birthday fell right before I had to go back, so I had party planning to do, plus going to school to celebrate with his friends there also. I wish anything I could go back and just relive it one more time, or just give me one more week off. One week to spend doing nothing but cuddling with my babies. It is crazy how fast time flies when you’re watching children grow. I swear just yesterday Noa had a growth spurt. When I got home from work, she just seemed bigger to me. I know that sounds cliche, but she absolutely did. She was suddenly pushing the limits on her 0-3 month sleeper. She is so alert and talkative and smiling all over herself. It makes her seem so much older than she is. I don’t know what happened to my sleepy, tiny little baby.
I spent my last day off cradling Noa. I really didn’t try to be too productive. I wore her in a carrier most of the morning and she napped there. I did some laundry, but mostly just paced the floor and carried her. Then she got up to eat and be awake for a bit, so we talked and I just held her. I held her almost all day. I did put her down for her afternoon nap, and I cleaned upstairs for a bit and put away some laundry. Once she woke up I was back to holding her all evening. I cried a couple times throughout the day, but Javier got me crying pretty good before he left for work. He hugged me bye, and told me he hoped I had a good first day. That was all it took. I didn’t want to fall asleep, but I knew that I’d be so tired the next day if I didn’t try to get some sleep.
Work felt like just another day. I felt like I had never left. I remembered everything and it all felt so routine. I hate that. It didn’t go by fast, but it wasn’t terribly slow either. I kept myself busy from 6 until about 10:30 before I ran out of stuff. I still had things to do, but they weren’t too time consuming or distracting. Javier said their day went fine. Noa didn’t give him any trouble with bottle feeding or napping. I was glad to hear that she wasn’t just upset all day crying. We got past the first day, but it didn’t make waking up for the next any easier. Today, the littles go to Grandma and Papa’s house and Sylas will be at school. It will be interesting to hear how their day goes. Pretty soon, these days will be behind us and it will all be so normal again.