At my doctors appointment Thursday, they told me I was nearly at five cm dilated and 50% effaced. I was kind of surprised that I wasn’t even a solid five yet, given that I was already a seven at that point with Amalia. Every pregnancy is truly different though. The past few days have been long. I’m tired and grouchy. I just want my house to stay clean for when we come home from the hospital, but alas, we have three children that don’t care about any of that. We have all of our plans laid out for childcare and such for when I do go into labor, which takes a huge stressor off.

I’ve still been having prodromal contractions, mostly in the evenings but sometimes in the day. They hurt some and I even get the occasional one that I need to breathe through. Friday morning around 1-1:30am, I had consistent painful contractions. I thought it might be it, but I got up to pee, and when I came back to bed, I laid on my opposite side and they went away pretty quickly. They were painful enough to wake me though which hasn’t happened yet. I’ve also not been able to hold it until morning and usually have to pee at least once a night. I’m still tossing and turning to give my hips a break since they get sore. It’s literally probably every half hour that I have to switch sides. Her movements give me lots of lightning crotch sometimes. It really hurts a lot when it happens, almost feels like she’s just going to pop out and say hi! Heartburn still sucks, and I have no desire to eat, pretty much forcing myself to choose something when I’m hungry. I don’t know why I get this way, but I remember it last time too.

The kids all have a head cold – rhinovirus – and I’ve been trying so hard to keep from getting it. It’s causing me a lot of anxiety honestly. I don’t know how to cope with labor when you’re sick. I am so afraid of having to do that.

I’ve bought the last minute things that I think I’ll need for postpartum when we come home. I don’t really want to have to run out when we first get discharged. I’ve stocked up on three brands of diapers, just in case, some wipes, and all the aftercare for myself.

If I make it to the end of this coming week, I’ll definitely be at the point where she and I need to be two people. I’m getting pretty tired of being pregnant. I have thoroughly enjoyed it, even up until this last week, but I’m checking out. I want so badly to meet her, and I feel like there’s nothing more to do in preparation, so I can’t keep my mind off of it. I daydream about delivery, and have been religiously listening to the birth hour podcast, soaking in all the information. I’ve been trying to practice relaxation breathing so that I’m ready for birth, and really trying to get in that empowering headspace.

The waiting is seriously the worst part about having a baby. Anybody that knows me, knows that I hate surprises, and babies picking their birthdays are the biggest surprises of all time. It feels like torture to me, especially because I know the joy that waits on the other side of labor.

Hurry little missy!