This week marks week ten of pregnancy! Baby is the size of a kumquat (still don’t really know what that is?). This past week has been pretty exciting. I am sure that I have felt tiny little flutters in the evening. I have been successfully finding the heartbeat with my doppler. It usually ranges from 160-176bpm, how awesome?! I have been having lots of round ligament pain this week. It is more uncomfortable than I remember it being in the past. I think that my ab muscles are shot from the boy’s pregnancies. I am having growing pains even up higher in my belly and baby isn’t high enough for that yet (apparently my uterus is the size of a grapefruit?). I think the discomfort is caused by my lack of muscle strength in my stomach and its inability to “hold me in” shall we say, so everything is just falling forward. I took a side by side comparison photo of my belly when I’m relaxing vs when I “suck it in.” You can definitely see that I am starting to show but you can also see just how sad my upper ab muscles are. They are literally letting my insides flop forward.
So funny though. Look how pregnant I look. I know a lot of it is bloating and my abs, but seriously, look at my little bump in the second photo.
I am still having some PTSD stuff going on. Its been better since I have been able to find the heartbeat at home. If I feel worried, I know that I can just check in on things that way. But I live in this constant worry that bad things could happen at any minute. I have better days, but I hate worrying. Some days I feel great and it makes me worry that my symptoms are disappearing. Then the next day I’ll feel awful and know that its fine. I hate the ups and downs of this roller coaster that I’m on. It gets better with every passing milestone, I suppose. All I can do is pray, live in the moment and look forward to the future.