Hormonal Much?

So I want to just rant a little bit. Most of this rant comes from a place deep in my heart where all of my TTC trials and tribulations lie. A place in my mind filled with horrific memories of TTC that could give the boogie man the heebie-jeebies. I Can’t get over the fact that people can be so insensitive. Granted, they usually don’t mean to be mean with their words but they hurt me, even still. I know that I am pregnant and I am excited and they are excited for me, but just because I am pregnant doesn’t mean that the wait leading up to it never happened. It is still very real to me and my losses are still, and always will be painful. I don’t talk about our fertility problems with anyone in my personal life (save a select handful). So I get it when they say things that are not meant to be hurtful but feel like a dagger to my soul; they don’t know anything ever happened. I have a few friends on my social media that can’t stop complaining about their pregnancy. Its like from the moment they shared their news, all they can do is find something wrong with it, be it nausea, fatigue or back pain. Every day its the same type of comments. It drives me crazy because, yes my hips hurt all the time and no, I didn’t feel very well in the beginning. Even last night I thought I was going to vomit because I had such horrific heartburn and reflux. But I can’t complain. I rejoice because I know that It means that I am still pregnant. I am more than happy to embrace the pain and gross things that come with pregnancy. I just want to shake them and tell them that they have no idea how lucky they are that it came so easily for them and how blessed they are to have a little life growing inside them. This week, since we found out the gender, these comments have become even more unbearable. Since we revealed the gender, I get asked EVERY TIME if we are disappointed or someone says “well its OK, there’s always next time,” or “I guess you’ll just have to try again,” like this baby isn’t loved and adored just because he is a HE. I couldn’t care less what the baby turned out to be. I just knew that I would be beyond blessed to have a healthy child. Maybe its a little hormonal of me but it is so frustrating when people say things like that. I never lash out or get angry with them, I simply say that he is exactly what we wanted (aka, a healthy baby). I am also part of a TTC group on facebook where women who struggle can talk and bounce ideas around and get advice. Even there, they made me feel like I was being shunned for telling them that I got pregnant. I thought that of all people, they would be happy for me but all I felt was resentment from them. I was in the same boat at one point and I did get jealous several times but I was never hateful toward anyone. Sometimes I would block myself from seeing their posts for a few weeks to shelter myself but I always expressed my happiness for them. So I finally got tired of it and shared a link to my facebook profile. It is an article written by a woman going through the exact same feelings as I am. I wrote, “I couldn’t have said it better.” So I just wanted to share it with you all today and let you know that even though I am pregnant, I still have a lot of the same feelings and sensitivities as I did before.


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