Happy Birthday to me!

Yesterday I turned 23 and I took work off for the day. We didn’t do anything extra exciting, I took Sylas to the park and then we all went to the pool for a couple hours and had some cake afterwards. It was a gorgeous day outside, albeit the chances of rain that we had. It was a lot of fun even though it probably doesn’t sound like fun to some. What can I say? I’m a boring person. I would rather spend the rest of my birthdays like this one than have just one extravagant one.
AF is almost over and after thinking long and hard about it, we decided to wait one more cycle until we start TTC again. This cycles ovulation should be around July 1 and that would put the due date in March. We really wanted a baby born in nicer weather and here in the Midwest, there is still snow in March. So my next cycles ovulation would be about July 31 and that would be an April baby. So between due dates and test results and letting my body heal completely, we made the decision to wait one more month. Still no word on my test results that I had drawn last week. I imagine it will take a while. Which is fine with me since we are not trying yet.
Out of everything that has happened to us these past few months, the thing that hurts me the most is when I see how desperate Sylas is for a playmate. It kills me to see him so eager to play with the kids at the park, or stare at the neighbors playing across the street in their sprinklers. Not that he doesn’t play with some kids, but I can see that what he really wants is an every day playmate. We started TTC after his first birthday so that they would be close in age and Sylas would be able to play with his sibling without such an age gap and difference in interests. I was (and still am) very close to my brother and we were barely over a year apart. That is what I wanted to give to Sylas, a forever friend. I really hope that this next cycle goes well and our baby sticks in there. For one, I don’t think I can go through that again emotionally. And two, I feel so guilty already and I really want to give Sylas a sibling so badly. This is going to be a really long wait, and I am so tempted to just go for it, but I want to do whats best and I think that is to wait.
I am adding some pictures from yesterday; I hope you enjoy! ttyl

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