Some news nobody wants to hear

I have some really upsetting news to share with you guys. You have probably noticed (or maybe not) that I didn’t post a 5 week update on Wednesday. I don’t really know where to start so I’m just going to say it. We had a miscarriage. Get ready for some TMI because I am going to go into detail here. On Monday evening I had some brown tinged CM and I figured it was all normal because the same thing happened when I was pregnant with Sylas. As the evening went on I went to the bathroom again and I was bleeding heavily, like my period had come. I didn’t want to go to the ER so I waited until the morning to call the OB office. They sent me to the hospital for lab work on Tuesday and Thursday and had me keep my appointment for Friday. on Tuesday my beta HCG was 24 and Thursday it had dropped to 3. So today at my appointment, the doctor told me that I indeed had a miscarriage and that we are free to start trying again when we are ready. It hasn’t been a week yet and the bleeding is already starting to slow down some. My period usually lasts 6-7 days so I think that this will be pretty similar to that. I hope so because I am so ready to just get past this so that we can try again. I cried and cried all day Tuesday. I know that it is pretty common but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don’t want to come across as if we are trying to replace this baby, because that will never happen. I just want to move on so we can get another baby on the way. I know that probably sounds awful the way I worded that. I am just longing for a baby so badly. It makes this whole thing worse. Monday through Wednesday I still had some random cravings and my face is still breaking out with some pimples. I still felt pregnant even though I knew that I wasn’t anymore. The symptoms have pretty much gone away now. It happened so early so it is making the grieving process a little easier. I am still very sad that it happened but I am ready to move on. I don’t want to linger on the what if’s of this whole ordeal. I will post another update maybe next week to keep you informed on how its going. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask me in the comments. ttyl

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